Happy New Year!  

Jeff and I have had the fun of hosting NYE for our family for the last few years, which has started a very fun family tradition!  Each year we create an escape room style game for our niece and nephews to play where a made-up supervillain has stolen the new year with plans to destroy it at the stroke of midnight… unless the kids can foil their plans.  Last year’s supervillain was “Corona Carl” – but this year the kids had to defeat “Carl KaBoom” and his “contraption of confusion!” 

We spent the week leading up to NYE building an elaborate series of clues, props, and special effects – my Cricut really got a workout!  Last year we created some “invisible clues” that could only be revealed with a UV flashlight.  The kids LOVED that part, so naturally this year needed some new “invisible” elements.  We built a couple black boxes with a UV light hidden inside.  The kids would need to figure out how to turn on the hidden light first, but then they could peek into the box and see Carl’s invisible message revealed! 

On the night of the party the kids rushed down our basement stairs to discover “Carl’s crime scene” and begin working out the clues.  There were secret codes to decipher, 13 locks to crack, and boobytraps mixed in to keep the kids on their toes.  After about an hour of intense detective work, the kids defeated Carl by cracking his final padlock –which unlocked a trunk packed full of neon party favors, silly hats, and many many many glow sticks.

Everyone had a blast, and the kids are already asking about what next year’s case will be!  Only time will tell.  Building this game was such a fun project - and seeing it experienced through the eyes of our neice and nephews filled our hearts with so much joy.  The squeals of excitement were very loud... and very genuine.  We're excited for the day that we can share this magic with a little one!  

Our adoption agency provided us with a list of questions frequently asked by actual birth mothers. These are our answers!  

What are your neighborhood, school system and community like? How is it conducive to raising an adopted child?

Our neighborhood is amazing for families. We live on a lovely tree-lined street in Denver, Colorado. At one end of block is a High School, a community center, and a park. At the other end of the block is an incredible view of the front range of the Rocky Mountains. Everything in between is connected by hiking trails, bike paths, and playgrounds.

We live only one mile away from “our tribe” - including our nephews and Nick’s sister. We’re all very close and love the outdoors – so the child we adopt will grow up playing, hiking, camping, and skiing along side their cousins, Aunts and Uncles.

Denver has some very strong schools – we’re both very excited to volunteer in the classroom!

What are your values/religion/belief system? How do you plan to teach those to your adopted child?

We’d describe ourselves as spiritual – but not religious. Our most important values are unconditional love, gratitude, empathy, and kindness. It really boils down to “the Golden Rule.”

We want to expose our child to the great outdoors, so they’ll know the beauty, inspiration, and preciousness of our natural world.

We want to raise our child in an environment of diversity, inclusion and equality, so that they’ll value what makes each of us one-of-a-kind, and learn how to stand up against injustice.

We want to model for our child how to process emotions, how to show empathy for others, and how to ask for help whenever they need it.

We often daydream about who our child will grow up to be - but that decision will be completely up to them. They will grow up knowing that they're loved for exactly who they are. Unconditionally.

We will provide an environment for their imagination, creativity, and confidence to thrive. We will be their biggest fans, their safe harbor, and their rock-solid foundation.   

How do you plan on talking to your adopted child about adoption?

Open and honestly from day one.

We both knew we'd eventually find each other. (It was already written in the stars.) We feel the same way about the child that will come into our lives. (They're the "little dipper" to our "big.") We already have love beyond measure on reserve for them. We want them to know our family was destined.

We obviously can’t make a baby ourselves – we’re looking for an angel to make our dreams come true. To be selected by a birth mom will be an overwhelmingly beautiful gift. A generosity beyond compare. We want our child to grow up knowing they’re part of that magic.

What kind of relationship do you want to have with me throughout the adoption process and after? Are you comfortable with the idea of open adoption and open communication?

We truly hope our family will grow to include the birth family of the child we’ll adopt. After all, how could we possibly love a child, but not those who gave them life? As we all get to know one another we hope to let our relationship form naturally; into whatever it’s meant to be.

No matter what form our relationship takes we’ll build it together, and make sure it works for everyone. Especially the child.

What were the best parts of your childhood?

Nick was an absolute ham. As soon as he figured out how to make people laugh, he was hooked. He grew up forcing his hostage sisters and cousins into elaborate skits for the grownups. Since then he’s been in many wonderful plays, musicals and choirs – and one very infamous mime class.

Jeff was a Soccer star. He would run and kick and do that thing where you bounce the soccer ball off your head. (Nick is writing this, and he doesn’t understand Soccer.) Jeff had an adorable relationship with his Nana. They would spend hours together, just the two of them, reading the paper, watching classic TV shows, and making homemade pickles. (Jeff frig’n loves pickles.)

How do you plan to teach her about her culture?

Authentically, and as a family.

We’ve had the amazing opportunity to travel – we love how our journeys have informed and grown our world view. The things that make cultures (and ourselves) so unique, special, and human should be celebrated, honored, and learned from.

As gay men, we know what it feels like to grow up without representation. Finally getting to see a show like “Will & Grace” changed our lives forever. We intended to teach our child about their culture, just as we intend to teach our child about our culture. And we won’t stop there! We feel it’s very important to provide our child with authentic representation of cultures from all around the world.

What are the most important things to you as a parent?

The MOST important thing to us is that our child feels loved and safe. It’s such an important foundation for building trust, confidence, self-esteem, and security.

We also want to make sure that our child feels supported to become whoever they are. Their interests, their passions, their curiosities, their orientation… all of it is okay. We want to help them to become the best version of whoever (or whatever) they are.

We know that parenting will not be a cakewalk - there are bound to be difficult days – but we also try not to take life too seriously. We take love seriously. We take kindness seriously. The rest we can roll with – embracing the adventure, the wonder, and the comedy of errors.

What’s the most valuable lesson that you would pass on to your children?

How to love themselves, and how to process their feelings.

So many of the troubles in the world boil down to people not being able to authentically express their feelings – it’s a vulnerability most people avoid at all costs. It’s just to painful, or awkward, or shameful for them.

The secret is that no one can discover the magic of their talents, their relationships, or their potential without first finding the bravery to wade through the awkwardness vulnerability requires.

We want to model this behavior for our child, like we already do for our nephews.

Oh! And eat your vegetables!

What kind of activities would you want to enroll your children in?

Anything they want. (Just not mime classes… Nick can’t relive the limericks.) We were both involved in a ton of activities as kids. Soccer, tennis, rowing, track, the Boy Scouts, theater, art, music, dance, debate, student council, yearbook… we did a little bit of everything! It was so exciting when something just… clicked!

We want to help our kid discover who they truly are – what their interests, passions, and talents are. They don’t have to do everything, but they can’t do nothing.

If you have more questions, we have more answers!

Jeff and I had just moved to Denver in October 2020. We made the move so we could be closer to our family – so we were very excited to have arrived in time to celebrate all of the upcoming holidays with them!

It takes a village – so we all divided up holiday hosting duties. Jeff and I were excited to get to host New Year’s Eve! There were going to be 4 kids at the party – so we knew we wanted to have an exciting activity to keep them entertained. At Halloween, Maddie (the oldest of the four) was dressed as an M.I.B. Agent and lamenting that an escape room she was dying to go to was closed due to Covid... 

Lightning struck: we could build our own escape room for our NYE party!

We invented Global Super-Villain: Corona Carl™.  (A little photoshop magic helped transform a photo of Jeff into Carl.)  We decided that Carl had stolen the new year and locked it up in a steamer trunk in our basement.  That jerk was trying to trap us in the year 2020 FOREVER!

Jeff photoshopped to create Global Super-Villain: Corona Carl™

We spent November and December dreaming up all of the twists and turns of Carl’s evil plot.  We built props, we placed clues, we even invented special effects! It was so much fun to create.  As Christmas approached our excitement really grew! Whenever we were with any of the family, we would drop playful hints that we had something big planned for NYE.  Even the grownups were getting geeked.

We created a top-secret case file for our special agents

On the big night the kids burst through our doors ready to play. They raced downstairs to discover Corona Carl’s™ crime scene. (He had left a whole slew of clues behind in his hasty escape.) We explained to the kids that they’d needed to complete three missions.  At the end of each mission, they would receive one of the numbers to Corona Carl’s™ dastardly combination lock.  Once they completed all three, they’d be able to crack the lock, open the trunk, and save the day!

At the end of the game everyone rushed to the trunk to crack Carl’s lock – one turn to the right, two turns to the left, one more turn to the right, and CLICK!

The kids flung the trunk open to find party favor treasure. It was full of New Year’s Hats, headbands, necklaces, glow jewelry, light up glasses, and LED hair extensions. Hands plunged into the trunk and soon everyone at the party was decked out in 2021’s finest.

Jeff, rocking some NYE swag with our nephew Aiden

Nick celebrating with nephews Aiden and Graham after they saved the day!

Best of all – we saved the world together.

I’ll never forget New Year’s Eve 2021 – and I don’t think our niece or nephews will either.

It was such a joy to step back, let them work together, and just watch their faces as they figured out the case. (Like the way they’d furrow their brow when they were thinking hard, or when their eyes would get really big as an answer started to come together.)

It was beautiful to witness their pride of accomplishment. All of the kids were waking a little taller – with a little swagger even.

At midnight we all assembled on the back patio – each bedecked in pounds of blinking costume jewelry and armed with multiple forms of noise makers.  The sky was clear, the stars were out, and the future looked bright.

3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!      

We’re currently building a whole new case with a whole new Villain for this year’s escape room.  It’s all still coming together, but luckily Jeff has agreed to being photoshopped again.  This year he’ll be “Carl KaBoom” with all new dastardly plans to blow up our party! 

Hello! Hello! Hello!

Thank you for checking out our adoption profile! We’re honored to be under consideration as a potential family for your baby. We can only imagine all the feels you must be feeling. We want you to know we’re not just “here for your baby” – we’re here for you too. While we don’t know you yet, we already admire what a strong and loving person you are for considering adoption. We do not take this lightly.

Jeff and I always knew it was our destiny to find one another. (Our love was already written in the stars.) We feel the same way about the little one that will come into our lives. (They're the "little dipper" to our "big.") We already have love beyond measure on reserve for them.

We hope our family will grow to include the biological family of the child we’ll adopt. (After all, how could we possibly love a child, but not those who gave them life?) No matter what form our relationship takes we’ll build it together, and make sure it works for everyone. Especially your child.

We recognize what an enormous decision lies before you. Our goal is to give you a glimpse into who we are, what our life is like, and the love we would provide your child... so we wrote a letter to your baby.

Dear Little One,

Welcome to the world! We’ve been anxiously waiting for you.

Your adventure has just begun, and we look forward to being by your side as you explore all this world has to offer.

We can’t wait to teach you the fun games we grew-up playing and explore the places that always make us smile. Our hope for you is that you love life, and that you spend your childhood smiling and laughing.

We already have many hopes and dreams for you. Here are just some of them:

• We hope that you drink your milk and eat your vegetables (but you’ll probably turn your nose up at some – because at 3yrs old, broccoli and cauliflower is gross).

• We hope you get dirt under your fingernails as you make mud pies and later hike mountain trails.

• We hope you get sand everywhere when we get home from chasing waves and seagulls at the beach.

• We hope you have best friends, play with your cousins, and secretly get into silly mischief together (which as parents we probably already know about).

• We hope you pick flowers, ride your bike, choose hobbies, read books and enjoy being a carefree kid.

• We hope you scream at the top of your lungs with joy on roller coasters and take too many pictures.

• We hope you try hard at school (even the subjects you don’t like); and hope you learn the difference between wisdom and test scores.

• We hope we help you understand that you can be anything you want to be – but you’ll have to work hard to get there.

• We hope you know we will always support you as you chase your dreams.

• We hope you’ll know that your family loves you, wants the best for you and will always be there unconditionally.

We can’t wait to watch you grow quickly from an infant to a toddler, then into an inquisitive child and suddenly become a know-it-all teen. :-) Then someday we know that you’ll grow-up into an adult, and make decisions for yourself, and we look forward being there to support you then too.

As your parents, we know we won’t always get everything right... but we CAN promise that we’ll ALWAYS do what we believe is best for you!

We look forward to you joining our little family, and we will be forever grateful that your mom brought us together. We’re excited to meet you. 

With all our love,

Nick & Jeff

Ever since we were babies, we’ve wanted to be daddies.

Fatherhood has always been our ultimate life goal.  So ultimate that my husband Jeff, and I began discussing our thoughts on adoption and raising a family even before our first official date.

The first date sealed the deal.  It was absolutely love at first sight.  It was exhilarating to realize all the ways we were compatible — but especially as future co-parents.  The planets aligned for us in a big way.  All of our dreams suddenly felt possible!

So we began to make it possible!

First, we made honest men out of each other and got married in a very simple court house ceremony.  (#JustMarried  #JustUs)  We preferred to save our money to start our family instead of throwing a big bash.  (But our 10 year anniversary will be EPIC.)

Then — wanting to be closer to our tribe — we moved cross country to Denver be with my sister and her family, including our two nephews: Graham (6) and Aiden (4).  (It takes a Village, and these are our Village People.)

Next, we started to research “how to adopt” in our new state.  We found an attorney, we found an agency, and we found ParentFinder.com

It was thrilling to begin this journey.  We were finally fulfilling a lifelong dream.  But as it unfolded, I kept finding myself flinching.  Everyone we encountered along the way was absolutely wonderful, but I kept bracing for rejection.

It’s remarkable that we’re on this journey at all.  As gay men in their mid-thirties we grew up in a time when our dreams of falling in love, getting married and starting a family just seemed impossible.  Forbidden, even.

Our families loved us unconditionally, but the world beat into us that as gay people we would never find love or have a family of our own.  I grew up terrified of being gay bashed to death, and having the Westboro Baptist Church show up to scream at my funeral.

Things have improved dramatically in the decades that have followed.  With the benefit of perspective, we no longer believe the hateful lies we were told as big-hearted little boys.

Fast forward to present day…

After two months of hard work, our labor of love: our adoption profile website, was finally ready to be shared with the world.  I’ve worked in digital marketing for nearly 20 years, so it was an absolute joy to use my whole skill set to build the site that will find the baby we’re destined to call our own.

We stood together and clicked “publish.” We officially announced to the world “we’re a gay couple adopting!”

I was immediately flooded with anxiety.

The sudden flip from excitement to terror was really confusing.

Our site was a huge source of pride – so why was I bracing for impact?

I realized that I wasn’t afraid of being rejected – but I was terrified that my DREAM would be rejected.  I was afraid we’d suddenly become the target of hate mail informing us that the dream we held most dear was forbidden to us.

What actually unfolded couldn’t have been further from my fears.

We’ve received an overwhelming outpouring of love and support. It’s still taking our breath away. Friends, family, colleagues, and complete strangers have been coming out of the woodwork to congratulate us, to celebrate our journey, and to share our story. Over the span of just a few days the website has been shared 100’s of times – always accompanied by a heartfelt story or endorsement of us.

“Life seldom lives up to our anxieties.”

This experience has helped us break down some very old walls – so we’re going to let that fear go, and move forward with open hearts, open minds, and open arms. (A life lesson that will absolutely be shared with our child.)

It has been wonderful to feel so loved and accepted. This has filled us with hope and optimism for the future of our family, and for the future of our world. We cannot wait to tell our adopted child not only how much WE longed for them, but also how much the internet longed for them too!

We’ve always known that adoption would be an unpredictable journey – I think I had just assumed it would be unpredictable in a painful way. Instead it’s been unpredictably joyful, validating, and full of love.

So now we wait – but with more confidence than ever before.

We don’t know where, when or how, but we do know that our baby is on their way to us: their big-hearted daddies.

Somehow Nick and I were able to wait two whole days until we saw each other again after our first date. At the time I was living with a friend, and we were hosting a holiday party, so of course I wanted my new love to be there.

Nick came into that party with no fear about walking into a house filled with my friends, and we had a great time working the room as I introduced him to each person there. After we made the first round we retreated to a quiet spot in the house next to the Christmas tree, so we could commence our new found favorite hobby: talking and looking into each other's eyes while swooning.

Our time was cut short by the arrival of a friend and his four newly adopted children. This was the first time any of us were meeting the kids and they instantly ran over to Nick and I... probably because we were sporting oversized Christmas light up necklaces. The rest of the party soon faded away and all I could see was this wonderful man showing such kindness to the kids, while emitting a glow of pure joy.

This was the moment I knew that Nick was the man I wanted to raise my children with, a trait that I had been searching for my entire adult life. We spent the rest of the party with the kids making funny voices, telling jokes, and falling further into the greatest love story of our lives.

When it was time for our new friends to leave, I caught a moment with Nick and the youngest girl of the group. She was looking up at Nick with huge puppy eyes asking if she could come and play again, Nick got down on one knee, gave her a giant hug, and looked her right in the eyes and told her she was always welcome wherever he was, and our new friend jumped for joy.

That was the first of many times Nick would turn me into a man puddle.  

We moved to Denver last year and wound up with enough empty cardboard boxes to start our own Amazon distribution center.

The boxes were on their way to the recycling bin when inspiration struck: We could build an EPIC cardboard fort for our nephews!  (Best housewarming ever!)

Armed with our leftover packing tape we went to work building tunnels, periscopes, and secret passages.

When the boys came over to play, we gave them each a flashlight, and unveiled the fort with a drumroll. We'll never forget the boys' excited screams as they explored the cardboard maze.  Eventually even the grownups rolled up their sleeves and crawled inside – at least until the tunnels became too narrow! 

We daydream all the time about creating “everyday adventures” at home with a little one.  A little cardboard, tape, and imagination sure can go a long way!